


That Should Be Me

by RandomFangirl_SQ



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cora Ruins Everything, F/F, Heavy Angst, What-If, no happy ending, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 00:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20497808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomFangirl_SQ/pseuds/RandomFangirl_SQ
Summary: Regina breaks up with Emma. 5 Years later she finds something that makes her seek Emma out.This is the story of their reunion.





	That Should Be Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a happy story. This is angst, some more angst, with a side of angst.   
No happy ending.
> 
> But I'm happy with it, so I hope that you will still read it.

When Regina’s eyes first settled on Emma her heart skipped a beat. It had been five long years since she had seen the woman, but she still looked as good as the day she met her. It was possible that her beauty had grown in their time apart. 

After five years Regina decided that it was time for them to talk. To really talk this time. No more anger, no more blaming, but just cold hard honesty. She wasn’t ready for it. There was a reason she had put this off for so long. She lived her life with every intention not to see Emma Swan ever again. Until her mother passed away recently..she found out somethings and needed Emma to put them into a new light for her. She couldn’t figure it out. But maybe Emma could help her. The blonde was always so good at helping Regina find the answers to her problems. When Regina felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, well Emma was always there to help her sort everything out. 

“Emma thank you for meeting me”. She didn’t think the woman was actually going to show. If it was her and the roles were reversed, well she would just scoff at Emma and get on with her life. But Emma had always been the more forgiving of the two. Here she was standing in front of her in the flesh. She was wrapped up in a black jacket wearing that gray beanie that she always used to wear. The cold November air had made her cheeks and nose a rosy color. She had never looked more beautiful. 

“Yeah, I was just curious why you decided to finally get back to me five years after you threw me out like garbage. So why am I here Regina?”

“Please Emma, I just wanted to have a civil conversation with you.” She began walking down the trail thinking that a few moments of silence would help bring their conversation on track. She didn’t reach out to her  <strike> former </strike> love just so she could fight with her again. She needed answers this time. She owed it to the both of them to get answers. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry for snapping like that.” Emma had a right to her anger. But if she really wanted the opportunity to talk to Regina, well she would have to put the anger aside. It was one of their biggest problems when the two were in a relationship. They were both so passionate and hard-headed. Their arguments turned into full out wars. But they always came back together, stronger with every fight. Until their last fight. Neither of them were prepared for that fight that just ended them. One moment they were more in love than they had ever been, and the next moment it was just gone. There was nothing left. 

After continuing down the path for a few minutes, Emma decided that it was time to break the silence. The talk they needed to have was an extremely hard one. But it was necessary. It was just coming about five years too late. “Regina I need you to know that you broke me. The only thing that kept me going...well it was Henry.”

Regina was a bit puzzled at this. She knew that Emma and her father had been extremely close back when Henry was still around. But he had died two years before the event happened...The blonde actually took his death just as hard as Regina had. But he was gone, how could he have helped the blonde through this?

Emma looked at Regina’s confused face.  _ Right. She didn’t know _ . She let out a huge sigh as she was finally given an opportunity to tell the woman what she had been trying to for years now. Well, in all honesty, she had stopped trying after the first two years. After she realized that the woman would never listen to her, never give her the time of day again, she decided it was no longer worth it. She could handle the pain, but she never wanted to burden  _ him.  _ “Not, your Henry Regina. My Henry.” Emma had to look away from Regina when she said this. It was like admitting this would be giving her a piece of  _ him.  _ After Regina refused to talk to her, well she no longer thought she  _ deserved _ him. It was just a bit louder than a whisper. But she heard it. “My son.”

“You..You have a son?” Regina’s head whipped up to face Emma instantly when she heard the word.  _ Son _ . That meant that Emma had another. She found another. She shouldn’t be surprised, she always knew that the blonde was such an amazing woman, anyone would be lucky to have her. Yet after all this time Regina couldn’t so much as give another person a second glance. They weren’t Emma Swan. All she wanted was Emma. In fact, she came here thinking, well she had hoped...she felt like she had been stabbed in the gut. 

“Yeah. I actually named him Henry after your father. He was the only parent like figure I ever had, so I wanted to honor him by naming my son after him.” She thought about her own little boy. A smile so big graced her face. “Actually, the two are quite alike, to be honest.” 

Regina’s heart fluttered as she took in the sight of emerald eyes. Emma’s face shown with complete adoration. You could see the love she had for Henry just by thinking about him. Her heart broke thinking about the way that Emma’s eyes use to light up that way for her. Now they never would again. 

She paused when she really took in the meaning behind Emma’s statement. She had her son who helped her through their breakup. That means she had to have been pregnant when it all occurred. Tears filled Regina’s eyes as she thought of what this could mean.

Emma turned around when she realized that Regina had stopped walking alongside her. Chestnut eyes were glassy with unshed tears. She wanted nothing more to walk up to Regina and wipe the tears away. She wanted to hold the woman and take away all of her pain. To kiss the top of her head while she whispered sweet nothings into her ear. It wasn’t her place anymore.

“You..You were pregnant? So I was right?” The woman started pacing back and forth. She didn’t know what to believe anymore. She thought she was right for so long, it was what had started this whole mess. Yet she knew in her heart that she was wrong. Emma couldn’t. She wouldn’t. And those letters, they all but confirmed she was wrong. But here Emma was telling her about some son. She started to walk away. She couldn’t do this. She turned her head over her shoulder and gave Emma one last glance before removed the woman from her life forever. “I can’t believe that I was right.”

Tears streamed down her face as she walked further and further away from the woman that held her heart for so long. The woman that had fixed her heart and tore it to pieces later. With every step, she was putting the past behind her. For real this time. It seemed as though their story was closed. Until she heard her. 

Rather the entire park heard her. If Emma wasn’t the Sheriff of the small town, surely someone would have called the cops for disturbance of the peace. When Emma realized that Regina was doing this to her again, she couldn’t take it. The woman came back into her life, just to do this again! She yelled out “Oh hell no” so loudly that it stopped Regina in her tracks. 

“You don’t get to do this again. You contacted me. You decided to open up these old wounds. You. Don’t. Get. To. Leave.” The blonde accentuated every sentence with a jab at Regina’s chest. At first sight of Regina, her heart soared as she thought about the love they used to share. Then came the pain that Regina had caused her just five years ago. Now? Now came the anger that her trip down memory lane had glossed over. 

“Excuse me Miss Swan if I don’t want to hear about the sordid details of your affair. I didn’t want to hear it then, and I don’t want to hear it now. This was a mistake.” She scoffed at the idea of her seeking Emma out. After a bitter chuckle, she just looked Emma in the eyes and delivered her final blow. “It was all a mistake.” 

They say it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. She couldn’t agree. Losing Emma completely broke her. She was fine before she met Emma. She was fresh out of college in her new position at City Hall. It wasn’t the most glamorous, but it was what she had always wanted. Sure her entire life was devoted to her job, but she didn’t realize that until she met Emma.

The blonde had taught her how to laugh and how to have fun. She had taught her how to live. Without the blonde, she was just going through the motions of life. But when she had her by her side, she was living. She had loved every minute of it and never wanted it to end. Then she saw...well it just all came crashing down. 

“Regina Mills you didn’t listen to me then. Like hell, you aren’t going to listen to me know.” Emma had to get this out and fast. She could tell the other woman was ready to flee. It hurt how little she trusted her. But she was used the hurt, she had five years of it, and before she met Regina, well she had a lifetime of it then too. With gritted teeth, she finally let it out. “I. Did. Not. Cheat.” 

She heard Regina scoff at this and it just brought up all of the anger she thought that she had gotten rid of. Her hands went flying in the air in frustration. “I didn’t cheat on you! I told you then, well I tried too, and I’m telling you now. Regina, you were my whole world. Who could be stupid enough to throw that away?” 

When Regina heard what she said a few more tears escaped from her eyes. She  _ was _ Emma’s world. That past tense form tore her heart to shreds. It had been five years. She was idiotic to believe that Emma still cared for her like that...yet she still had feelings for Emma. She still loved Emma. There was no getting over Emma Swan and the loved they shared. She was her fiancé..

Hearing the sincerity in Emma’s voice made her knees weak. She had heard the blonde defend herself five years ago, but the words didn’t register then. She was too blinded by her sorrow and her rage. But now she heard nothing but the truth. But she couldn’t..it couldn’t. It couldn’t be true. 

If it was true she did this for nothing. If it was true she threw away her relationship for nothing. If it was true she lost her greatest source of happiness and her future wife...all for nothing.

“But my mother...But the picture. Emma, I saw the picture. You were kissing Neal.” 

Emma scoffed. She knew that she needed to bring some of her anger in, but just the mention of Cora set her off again. The woman hated Emma from the start. The entire time she was with Regina she kept telling Emma not to get too comfortable. That she would find a way to get rid of her. All because a poor orphan wasn’t good enough for Regina. Granted Emma couldn’t see anyone being good enough for Regina, but she loved the woman and made her happy. And it was enough. It was until it wasn’t. 

The two had found a bench placed in a small clearing just off the path that they were walking. It seemed as a good place as any to continue having their conversation. She wanted Regina to see the truth in her eyes. They needed to have eye contact for this. 

She chuckled to herself as she thought of the absurdity of it all. “Regina I’m a lesbian. You know that. How could you think that I could cheat on you? With a man no less? Cora always hated me, Regina. You know this. The woman told me that she was out to ruin our relationship! I just had more faith in us than whatever she could throw at us. I thought we could overcome it all.

The picture of me kissing Neal was real. Rather it was a picture of Neal kissing me. Had Sydney taken the shot a second later he would have captured me pushing Neal away.” She thought back to that moment. The moment her best friend ruined her life. She chuckled darkly to herself, “actually I slapped him, and then pushed him away. I had told him that you proposed and that I said yes. I guess he had been in love with me for a while and was trying to stop me from making a mistake. I was just so mad at him at first. He saw how happy I was when I talked about you, and when I showed him the ring. 

Anyways I knew that your mother had Sydney following me around trying to tear us apart when she saw how serious we got. Then you proposed so she really upped her game. Guess Sydney was just at the right place at the right time.” 

Regina put her hand over her mouth trying to stifle a large sob.  _ She didn’t cheat. I threw her out and she didn’t cheat. _ She felt like she was going to be sick. Like honestly sick. She walked away from the bench and started dry heaving. Thankfully her stomach was empty and couldn’t empty its contents. 

Emma’s heart broke at the sight. Regina had caused had hurt her so much, but she never wanted to see the other woman in pain. She still loved her as much as she did five years ago before this all started. Regina was hurting, so she was hurting.    
  
Emma went over to where Regina was and gently pulled in for a hug. She started rubbing her back in the way that she used to always calm Regina down. Being in each other’s arms, well it was like none of this had ever happened. She kept rubbing her back and she told the other woman, “hey, it's okay. It’s okay.”

Regina pulled back from Emma’s grasp. “No, it’s not okay. How could you think this was okay? Emma, I ended our relationship. I broke up with you the day after I proposed! I hated you for these past five years. I threw away our life together. Nothing is okay!” 

“Regina I don’t know what to say. I tried so hard to tell you the truth. But you let your mother drive me out of Storybrooke. You ended our relationship after seeing a picture. You didn’t bother to get my side of the story. In fact, you refused to listen to my side of the story.”

It was true. She should have been suspicious when Cora brought her that photo. She should have asked her mother why she had Sydney following Emma around in the first place. She had said she was only looking out for her daughter. But looking out for her didn’t mean she had to have someone trail her fiancé. 

She should have given Emma the benefit of the doubt. But her own insecurities clouded her judgment. Emma was always the bright light in her life. She was fun, beautiful, positive, and just a great person to be around. Cora always thought Emma wasn’t good enough for her. But she knew better. She knew that Emma was too good for her. She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. She kept waiting for Emma to leave her for someone else more worthy of her. 

When Neal came into town he and Emma hit it off pretty quickly. It was like they had lived the same life, they had so much in common. Both were delinquents turned into law enforcement. Emma was the Sheriff, Neal her deputy. Both had their parents abandon them. Both had to raise themselves and fend for themselves in this harsh world. She was jealous that Neal understood her in ways that she could not. He was her best friend, and she was jealous that Emma had a close relationship with someone other than herself. Regina was always a bit of a loner, the only person she had close was Emma. She should have understood that Neal and Emma were only friends. Emma had accepted her proposal for crying out loud.

But when she saw that picture, it was easy to think that Emma had cast her off. 

Emma decided to keep going. To let a wound properly heal, you had to clean it out. So she let the rest out. “Regina, you destroyed me. You knew my past, getting passed from home to home. I was hesitant to let you in at first because I couldn’t handle the thought of losing you. You promised you would never treat me like those foster parents did. You made me love you. You proposed to me. Then you threw me away without even listening to me.”

Now it was Emma that was blown out sobbing. She turned to face Regina. “You. Promised. Me.” In between sobs, the woman kept pointing her finger, jabbing it at Regina’s chest. 

It was Regina’s turn to hold the other woman. She gently rocked her back and forth. “Shh, shh. I know my love, I know.” Comforting the other woman came back to her like second nature. She saw her love in distress so she just acted. She knew that there was too much between them now to be comforting each other like nothing happened. But she needed to be close to Emma. She craved it. 

When Emma finally calmed down she looked at Regina and continued to fill her in. They needed to get through this. They had to power through. “Regina, I was pregnant when you kicked me out. I didn’t know it then. But that last treatment before we decided we would put a pause on trying for a while? The last treatment worked.”

Regina’s eyes shown bright with Emma was telling her. “We have a child?”

Emma quickly shook her head. “Regina I have a child. I have a child who I raised from the very beginning. I wrote to you every week for two years. I called you so many times. I left so many messages. I just wanted you to come back to me. To come back to us. You never responded Regina. I told you exactly where I was and what I was doing. Why didn’t you come for us?” 

It seemed Regina had to thank Cora again for meddling further in her life. “When you left, my mother tried to marry me off to some man with money. She kept trying so hard, she didn’t care that I was heartbroken. I severed all ties with her, but it seems that she still found a way to meddle. She passed away not long ago. As I was packing up her belongings, I found a box filled with your letters. I don’t know why she didn’t dispose of them. Probably to look at them and laugh at how she really did tear us apart. Anyways I read your first letter. I couldn’t bear to read the rest. Then I wrote to you and well here we are.”

“Regina, Cora didn’t tear us apart. You did. You were supposed to trust me. You were supposed to listen to me. Your girlfriend for five years. Your future wife. But you threw out my stuff onto our front lawn and locked me out of the house.” Emma shuddered as she thought back to that dark time. It was one of the worst moments of her life. It was like she was a kid all over again returning home to see all of her belongings packed up as she was being shipped off yet again. Yet this time Regina just threw her belongings on the lawn for everyone to see. She couldn’t show her face in Storybrooke anymore. Everyone knew, and everyone judged her. Cora, as Mayor, finally decided to get rid of her once and for all. She made up some violation that Emma had done as Sheriff, which led to a committee meeting, led to a vote, and Emma was packing her bags. There was nothing left for her in Storybrooke anyways. 

Regina faced Emma and took her hands into her own. “Emma, I’m so sorry. You have to let me make this up to you Emma. We can fix this. Say we can fix this. I promise to spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. Just give me a chance. I still love you Emma. I have never stopped loving you. Let me fix this?”

Emma just shook her head. This was too much. “Regina there is nothing to fix. It’s too late.” 

Regina just sobbed again. This couldn’t be it. If two people love each other they should be able to make it work. Emma was her happy ending. This couldn’t be it. “This can’t be it. Emma, this can’t be the end.”

Emma got up and she shook her head again. “This isn’t the end Regina. The end was five years ago.”

Regina was processing Emma’s words when she saw it. Hanging right outside of Emma’s coat pocket. She noted the keys that were dangerously close to falling out, or rather she noticed what was attached to the woman’s key ring. It was her ring. The ring that she gave her five years ago.  _ If she still has, there has to be hope. This can’t be it. _

Regina got up and took Emma’s hands once more. Her eyes were red and puffy from the tears, but they also shone with hope. “Emma you still have it. The ring. You still have it, so you must still care. There has to be a chance for us. A chance for me to fix this. You, me, and Henry, we can be happy. Just let me fix this.”

Emma didn’t know how much more of this she could take. The woman in front of her had broken five years ago, but she hated hurting Regina. She didn’t  _ want  _ to cause her pain. But she had to. She took the ring off of the keychain and held it between her fingers. Honestly, she had forgotten it was even there, she hadn’t thought of it in so long.

“Regina I kept this because at first I still had hope for us. I thought you would come and find Henry and I. Then I kept the ring as a reminder not to let anyone in. It reminded me of the pain you put me through. Then, well things changed. Now its a reminder for me that sometimes things happen for a reason. When you broke up with me I was so lost. But if I didn’t have you, well I wouldn’t have Henry.” She smiled as thought of her son. He was really the light in her life. 

“I actually haven’t thought of this in a while.” She opened Regina’s palm and place the ring inside. “You should have it back. I don’t need it anymore. I hope you find an amazing woman to give this ring to Regina. I want you to be happy. I really do. Thank you for reaching out, I do feel a lot lighter now that we have let it all out. Regina, I hope you find your happiness.” Emma turned around and she walked away. She couldn’t watch the other woman be in pain anymore. She had to get away. There wasn’t anything she could say that would make this better. There wasn’t anything left to be said at all. 

She walked back to the main portion of the park where she spotted a young brunette boy playing on the monkey bars. She wiped away her tears and focused on the light of her life. She walked over to her son and soon she was enveloped in a small set of arms. “Mommy, you’re back!”

“I sure am! How about we go out for some breakfast now? How does that sound?”

“Yeah! Can I get hot-chocolate with cinnamon on top?”   
  


“Well of course! How else are you gonna drink it?” She wrapped Henry in a hug and started to walk a bit towards the car until a voice stopped her.

“Were you two going to forget about me?” 

Henry and Emma looked back at the woman and smiled. “We would never leave you out.” They hugged the woman and continued to walk towards Emma’s car.

Neither of the three noticed dark chestnut eyes viewing the family from afar. 

Regina saw young Henry holding onto his mother’s hand. The young boy was supposed to be her son. She and Emma went to get those treatments together. They decided that Emma would carry the first child, and later on, Regina would carry the second. Henry was supposed to be her son. That mysterious brunette holding onto Emma’s other hand, well that was supposed to be her. 

The laughing family that didn’t even realize she was there, that was supposed to be her’s. 

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are always appreciated!


End file.
